Even though they are not your parents, you may be asked to take on daily activities and health care tasks. Even though being a caregiver is rewarding, taking care of parents can be challenging. When it’s your in-laws, it can be even trickier. Weather you currently caring for your in-laws or will be in the near future, having a plan is key.

Start the Conversation

Determine who will be part of the team. Even family who lives out of town should be part of the team. As a team, determine your in-laws’ aging and health care goals. This may be assisting them to remain in their own home, moving them into a family member’s home, or community living. Once your team and goals have been set, discuss expectations and responsibilities.

Discuss

How will the team communicate: telephone calls, email, a family website?

Out of town members: They can pay bills online, research community resources, assist in hiring care when a break is needed, or invite the parents to visit.

If you take on the responsibility of health care – attending appointments, tracking medication, and managing physical and mental health and needs – who will take care of them or hire an alternate home care support system when you’re not available?

Make it known that you are more than willing to help, but it has to be within reason. Set the limit with the team that if there comes a time that you can’t care for them yourself – your in-law is unappreciative, too medically complicated, or causing a rift with your spouse – that the next step is finding a caregiver or an arrangement other than you. You want to be kind and compassionate, but your health, family, and marriage is a priority.